- Drinking tequila
- Eating a kebab
- Kissing your friends
- Falling over
- Paying on your card
It’s very easy to take a carefree approach when drinking, see where the night takes you and hope for the best. Here are five warning bells of what to avoid when you’ve had a few bevies, so you don’t wake up feeling like this:
- Drinking tequila
2. Eating a kebab
I have come to the conclusion that Kebab meat is the most disgusting meat in the history of the world. Not only does it taste like it’s been rubbed up against someone’s sweaty armpit, but it is in fact questionable whether it is even meat at all. My housemates joked of how it could actually be ‘Alsatian’. No-one laughed, just peered down at their plastic container in disgust, pulled a ‘I’m going to be sick face’, shrugged, then tucked back in. We could blame such behaviour and poor food choices on alcohol, as we we’re probably drunk when picking up the phone and deciding to order such a monstrosity, and so such decisions can be justified. We seem to think that such food will help to cure our hangovers, but could quite possible make them worse. I would, however, recommend a chicken wrap. Can never go wrong with a chicken wrap. Well, you can, but you’ve just gotta hope the Chicken Shop guys have cooked it properly.
3. Kissing Your Friends
After a few drinks, the friendship group often changes. There’s often someone who’s off in a corner with another group member. This I call ‘friendcest’. It totally depends on how your friendship group reacts to such drunken ideas as to whether it’s a good idea or not. Probably best to avoid if another of the group has dated the person or currently likes them. If the ultimate friendcest group, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. can get away with it, why can’t we? Of course, if you can both joke about it the next day and not let it affect your friendship, then why not!
4. Falling Over
Easier said than done. It wasn’t my fault someone dumped a pile of bags and coats in the middle of the dance floor and so when I glided gracefully across to continue with my fab moves, I was thrown towards the sticky floor and caught by a random stranger. It wasn’t my fault my friend tried to throw me over his shoulder, and (clearly underestimating my weight) dropped me snack, bang on the floor. It wasn’t my fault my heels where too high and the stairs were too steep... The best thing to do is to keep your eyes peeled for obstacles, don’t let drunken people pick you up and take care on the stairs (possibly choosing smaller heels) and so hopefully you won’t wake up to this:
5. Paying on your card
Run out of cash? Cash point too far? Stick it on my card. It’s only one drink. Hey did you want one? Make that two. Oh and a shot. Guys it’s my round! You got any money? Yeah it’s fine got my card. Do. Not. Do. This. You’ll only have a heart attack viewing your bank balance and more than often end up buying much more than you first anticipated.
If all else fails, just claim you were drunk. That’ll work won’t it?